When teaching assertiveness, it helps to begin with the different ways people tend to communicate at work. Once employees can recognize passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive behavior, you can move on to tools such as DESC and use role-play exercises to put those skills into practice.
What Is Assertiveness Training in the Workplace?
Assertiveness training at work teaches employees how to communicate their needs and boundaries clearly and respectfully—without being passive or aggressive. It teaches them how to speak up without being aggressive, and how to listen without giving in.
- Key benefits of assertiveness training
- Communication styles comparison table
- How to teach DESC & 3Cs models
- Assertiveness strategies for hybrid teams
- Role-play and workshop techniques
- Common trainer pitfalls to avoid
This type of training improves communication, reduces conflict, and helps build trust within teams. Assertiveness isn’t just about saying what you want—it’s about doing so while also considering others’ rights and perspectives.
In any workplace, we need to collaborate effectively. At the same time, we must foster psychological safety in the workplace and encourage open, respectful conversations. Assertiveness supports this balance, helping create a workplace culture where fairness, clarity, and resilient communication can thrive.
- Assertiveness is about standing up for yourself without being aggressive.
- Training on assertiveness should include passive, aggressive, assertive, and passive-aggressive styles.
- Tools such as the DESC script help employees and are worth teaching.
- Teaching assertiveness also connects with emotional well-being, communication skills, and inclusion.
- As a trainer, using pre-prepared materials that also include activities is worth considering.
Why Is Assertiveness Important at Work?
Assertiveness is important at work because when we have confident employees and managers who communicate well, this not only benefits the individual but also ultimately results in improved productivity and happier employees.
The emphasis on effective assertiveness comes with respectful but firm communication, and this is the key to teaching assertiveness to employees.
There is very often this impression that assertiveness involves a kind of forcefulness, about being dominant, and about the voice of one individual and their progression.
This, of course, is far from what assertiveness is all about and taught and understood correctly; assertiveness skills are valuable skills for your employees to have.
In essence, assertiveness is a healthy middle ground between an employee being passive or being aggressive. It is the ideal central ground.
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How Can You Teach Employees the Difference Between Communication Styles?
Begin by introducing the four core styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive.
To help you, you can use the comparison table below to explain the typical thoughts, behaviors, and emotions.
How Do Workplace Communication Styles Compare?
| Style | Typical Thought | Behavior Example | Emotion |
|---|---|---|---|
| Passive | “I don’t count” | Avoids eye contact | Anxiety, insecurity |
| Aggressive | “I must win at all costs” | Dominates conversations | Anger, superiority |
| Passive-Aggressive | “It’s safer to say nothing” | Sarcasm, silent treatment | Covert anger |
| Assertive | “My needs matter too” | Clear, calm communication | Confidence, calm |
Ravi, a project coordinator, often found his ideas overlooked during team meetings. After learning assertive communication techniques, he began expressing his input more clearly using the DESC model. Over time, colleagues responded with greater respect, and Ravi became a more confident contributor to group discussions.
If you are providing workplace training on assertiveness skills, encourage the participants to complete self-assessment questionnaires so that they can reflect on what their preferred style might be.
You can expand the exercise if time permits by facilitating a group discussion on how these styles show up in day-to-day work, including in meetings, emails, and cross-team collaborations.
What Strategies Can Help Employees Become More Assertive?
To help employees adopt a more assertive communication style, provide tools that offer structure and clarity. One effective method is the DESC script:
- Describe the situation objectively.
- Express how it affects you emotionally.
- Specify what you need or expect.
- Consequences – explain what will happen if the situation doesn’t change (without threatening).
Also, introduce the 3 Cs of assertive communication:
- Clear: Direct and unambiguous.
- Confident: Delivered with self-belief and calm authority.
- Controlled: Emotionally grounded, avoiding reactive behaviors.
Discuss the psychological factors that influence assertiveness, such as beliefs formed in childhood, fear of conflict, or cultural conditioning.
Many of these beliefs help shape our present-day level of emotional intelligence (EQ), that is, our ability to recognize and manage our emotions and how we relate to others (such as how we show empathy or not).
Reflective prompts like “What belief holds me back from speaking up?” help learners develop self-awareness and personal ownership.
You can also teach employees to use “I” statements, make clear requests, set boundaries, and say no respectfully without overexplaining.
How Can Role Play Build Assertiveness Skills?
Role-playing allows employees to practice assertive responses in realistic workplace scenarios—from giving feedback to refusing unreasonable requests. Assign roles (assertive, passive, aggressive) and rotate them.
Some scenarios you might use include:
- A colleague repeatedly interrupts in meetings.
- A manager gives unrealistic deadlines.
- A peer is not contributing fairly to a joint project.
Debrief after each role-play using guided reflection questions:
- What did you notice about your body language?
- How did the assertive response feel?
- What would you do differently next time?
Research in workplace healthcare settings has also found that assertiveness training can improve assertive communication, although sustained behavioral change still needs further study.
For more practical exercises, check out these assertiveness training activities designed to help teams practice real-life scenarios.
Furthermore, you can also use these workplace communication role-play scenarios as warm-up activities before delving into the more structured assertiveness session.
It might also be worth reviewing our guide on what influences nonverbal communication in the workplace.
When Should Assertiveness Training Be Used in the Workplace?
Assertiveness training is ideal when:
- An employee becomes a first-time manager
- As part of the induction (onboarding) process
- When teams are experiencing regular conflicts or tension
- Staff avoid giving or receiving constructive feedback.
- Managers notice signs of stress or burnout linked to poor communication.
- Part of regular training because all employees can benefit from a short course in assertiveness
- Used as part of a workplace conflict resolution strategy
These are the most common situations where assertiveness training is valuable.
In addition, consider running assertiveness workshops proactively in situations like these:
- As part of leadership development programs
- Alongside well-being or mental health initiatives
- During performance review cycles or 360 feedback training
- When launching new hybrid or remote working policies
- To support teams navigating change, restructuring, or mergers
In these situations, you might also benefit from our course materials on dealing with difficult people to complement assertiveness skills training.
This type of training can be delivered as a standalone one-off session, but it can be even more effective when combined with other leadership training, such as part of a well-being initiative, or as part of communication skills training.
Importantly, training should be adapted to suit your specific company culture and your industry.
For example, frontline service staff may benefit from scripts for customer interactions, whereas SMEs (Subject Matter Experts), might be better off focusing more on feedback and negotiation.
If you are unsure whether assertiveness training is what a team actually needs, our team communication checklist can help identify where the communication problem lies.
How Should You Adapt Assertiveness Training for Remote or Hybrid Teams?
It is equally important, as with all workplace training, to provide assertiveness skills training for your remote and hybrid working employees.
Assertiveness is, in fact, a particularly useful skill for remote staff in that how we communicate online with colleagues can be even more critical because we can sometimes lose some of the non-verbal cues in online communication.
In other words, in virtual communication, we sometimes see misunderstandings amplified, and assertiveness helps prevent passive-aggressive behavior in email and chat.
When teaching online, use role-play via breakout rooms, and include scenarios such as:
- Pushing back on unrealistic deadlines over Slack
- Asking for recognition in a remote team meeting
- Giving constructive feedback in Zoom calls
Encourage teams to develop “assertiveness agreements”, meaning shared norms for respectful, direct communication across different online channels and platforms.
What Common Mistakes Should Trainers Avoid When Teaching Assertiveness?
Even experienced facilitators can unintentionally undermine assertiveness training by:
- Equating assertiveness with confidence alone (without considering values or empathy)
- Focusing too heavily on scripted responses without room for reflection
- Avoiding emotional dimensions and belief systems that underlie communication
- Not adapting training for cultural or neurodiversity differences in communication norms
As a trainer, aim to create a psychologically safe learning space where participants can experiment, make mistakes, and grow from discomfort.
Encourage peer feedback and normalize the learning curve that comes with changing deeply ingrained habits.
Sarah, a team assistant, frequently said yes to extra tasks—even when she was at full capacity. After attending assertiveness training, she practiced setting clear boundaries using “I” statements. When asked to take on another last-minute task, she politely declined and offered an alternative timeline. Her manager appreciated the honesty, and Sarah felt more in control and less stressed.
How Should Trainers Prepare to Teach Assertiveness Workshops?
Preparation is always the key to any training, so before delivering your training session, take time to do the following:
- Make sure you know who your audience will be and then tailor the activities and training to best match.
- Decide whether mixed-role groups (managers + staff) or peer-only groups will work better for your objectives
- Prepare your own reflection prompts or personal stories to encourage openness
For groups that lack confidence, consider reading these tips on how to build self-confidence at work before moving into more advanced assertiveness strategies.
Depending on your audience, the way in which assertiveness is used will differ to an extent.
Customer service staff, for example, at times will need to be assertive, but using a structured script can often be a useful approach.
For managers, a certain level of focus on providing constructive feedback and using negotiation skills can be a key part of how they use assertiveness to get results, while still creating an inclusive and psychologically safe space.
How Can You Handle Learner Resistance to Assertiveness Training?
It is inevitable in most training sessions that not every person present buys into the need for the training. Indeed, some participants may feel that assertiveness isn’t really necessary.
Some participants are doubtful; acknowledge that first. Then use examples or evidence to show how assertive communication can help people speak up without becoming aggressive.
A PowerPoint tag-cloud slide showing common thoughts can be especially useful. For example:
Use learner-led discussions to unpack myths like:
- “Being assertive means being bossy.”
- “If I speak up, I’ll make things worse.”
You can then go on to explain all about reframing thoughts and discuss challenging passive or aggressive thoughts.
For more trainer resources on listening, feedback, body language, and interpersonal communication, see our workplace communication guides.
FAQ: Teaching Assertiveness in the Workplace
What’s the best format for delivering assertiveness training?
A half-day or full-day workshop tends to be ideal for a workshop, including activities and exercises. It really depends on your needs, as even a 2-hour short session can work well if training time is limited. Training can be delivered in-person or online, either as trainer-led training or as microlearning.
Is assertiveness training suitable for remote teams?
Yes. It can quite easily be delivered via Microsoft Teams or a similar video conferencing platform. You can use virtual breakout rooms, and you can use online self-assessments and role-play to ensure full participation. You can also email participants any documents beforehand, such as worksheets you want them to complete in Microsoft Word.
How long does it take to see changes in assertiveness?
Employees may start using a new technique straight away, but changing an established communication habit usually takes practice. Tools such as DESC give them something concrete to try in real situations and reflect on afterwards.
Can assertiveness be taught to managers and junior staff in the same session?
Yes, but as a training facilitator, you should ensure you provide relevant examples for each group/audience. Managers may benefit more from assertiveness training related to feedback delivery, while junior staff may benefit more from confidence and upward communication-related assertiveness training.
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